When I think about how people are feeling going into this week, there has to be an abundance of anxiety, because you don’t know what to expect, right?
The challenge is that people experience anxiety differently. Some people have physical symptoms: trouble sleeping, trouble eating, racing thoughts, things that get in the way of their everyday lives. Other people have it emotionally. They may become angry quickly, or sad, or just fearful without really recognizing what’s behind the fear.
First, name what you’re feeling
The key is always trying to figure out how you define the anxiety, fear, or frustration you have. That gives us a clue to help you develop coping skills.
My rule is this: if you have a physical symptom, it’s best matched by a physical coping skill. If you have an emotional symptom, an emotional coping skill is better. This rule doesn’t necessarily mean that the anxiety you have will go away completely, but if you match the way you define the symptom with the same type of coping strategy, it will significantly reduce the potential of you acting inappropriately.
When a family came into the emergency department scared and overwhelmed, with no control over what was happening, I would say: tell me about the feelings and emotions you’re having. Describe them for me.
Because if I don’t ask what happens when you feel fearful or anxious, I can’t really help you. Take anger as an example. When I feel angry, I start talking faster, my voice goes up a couple of octaves, and I have trouble concentrating. Other people, when they get angry, may want to put their fist through a wall, or they take it out on people they don’t intend to. The bottom line is, I need to hear from you what happens when you feel anxious.
“Let’s just think about what we’re doing here”
My mom, Jan, used to say, “Let’s just think about what we’re doing here.” It was her way of getting people to slow down and think analytically. It slows down what’s going on and makes you think about what caused the anxiety.
Was there something that triggered it more than something else would have? What have you already tried to manage it? What’s something you haven’t tried yet that might help?
What I do when I’m anxious
When I feel anxious, I sometimes have the fight, flight, or freeze thing going on. Am I fighting what’s going on? Am I running away from it? Or is it so overwhelming that I just freeze up? That happens to me a lot.
When I freeze up and wonder why I’m so anxious, I go back to my mom’s question. What has the day been like? What threw me off? Then I check the basics. Have I had enough sleep? Enough food? Enough rest? Have I talked to the people I love, the ones who care about me and help me when I feel this way?
Friends are everything, and so is family. And yes, pets play a huge part. My cat, Darla, has been right next to me all day. Just feeling her against me and being able to reach out and pet her is so calming and soothing. It brings my blood pressure down to a really nice place of calm and contentment.
What we can control
If you take one thing away from this post, I want it to be this: there are things in our lives that we can’t control. But we can control who we vote for, and why we vote.
I tend to vote on health-related issues the most, for the people I care about and the patients I serve, who are often poor and living in rural areas. That’s just me. It’s important to me to help others, and to vote in a way that gets them the funding they need for healthcare and the support they need to navigate the biggest challenges in their lives.
Whatever matters most to you, take care of yourself this week. Let’s just think about what we’re doing here.
Thanks,
Susan
If you’d like a few quick tools for anxious moments, my free one-page guide, 5 Tools to Calm Anxiety in 60 Seconds, is here. And if this week feels like more than you can carry, you can call or text 988, day or night, to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.